Dispatch from Athens

Vice President Lectures Pope on Theology, Pontiff Responds From Cameroon

ATHENS, Georgia — Vice President JD Vance, a Catholic convert of seven years standing, publicly advised Pope Leo XIV this week to exercise caution when discussing theological matters. The Pope, reached for comment through Vatican intermediaries while conducting pastoral duties in Cameroon, was unable to stop laughing enough to comment.

Vance took issue with the Pontiff’s statement that Jesus is “never on the side of those who once wielded the sword and today drop bombs.”

“It is very, very important for the pope to be careful when he talks about matters of theology,” Vance said at the Turning Point USA event.

The Vice President, who converted to Catholicism in 2019 after periods as an evangelical Christian and atheist, lectured the Pope regarding God’s historical military preferences.

Vice President offers theological guidance at Tuesday's university event.

Nevertheless, Pope Leo forged ahead. Speaking Thursday in Cameroon, the Pope expanded his commentary, stating that the world is “being ravaged by a handful of tyrants.” Vatican sources could not confirm whether this remark referenced any specific individuals.

Vance, who has a memoir titled “Communion: Finding My Way Back to Faith,” scheduled for publication in June, was not available for follow-up questions regarding his theological resumé. His office issued a statement noting that the Vice President “stands by his comments” and “looks forward to continued dialogue on matters of faith.”

The investigation into proper ecclesiastical advisory procedures remains ongoing. No word on whether Vice President Vance’s theological understanding exceeds Pope Leo’s expertise on global affairs.